Wherever We Land

I’ve been having this recurring dream lately. A dream where I wake up, roll over, and bam, it’s 5 PM. No alarm clock, no rush, just pure, unadulterated relaxation. It’s a beautiful, peaceful existence. A life free from the tyranny of the 9-to-5 grind.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Lazy bum.” But hear me out. It’s not that I dislike work. It’s more like I’m just really good at identifying inefficiencies in the traditional work model. For example, why do we need to be physically present in an office to, you know, work? With the power of the internet, I could literally do my job from a hammock in Bali.

I’ve tried a few tactics to optimize my work-life balance. Like, I once tried convincing my boss that I was a highly-productive night owl. So, I’d stay up until 3 AM, bleary-eyed and caffeinated, just to prove a point. It didn’t work. He just looked at me like I was crazy.

Another time, I tried the classic “sick day” strategy. I feigned a terrible cold, complete with a dramatic cough and a sniffly nose. But my boss, bless his heart, is a former Boy Scout. He insisted on sending over a wellness basket filled with soup and tissues. I think he knew I was faking it.

I’ve even considered a more drastic measure: quitting my job and becoming a full-time YouTuber. I could make videos about anything – from cat grooming to conspiracy theories. The possibilities are endless! But then I remember that I need money to, you know, live.

So, for now, I’ll stick to my day job. But I’ll continue to dream of a future where work is optional and relaxation is mandatory. Until then, I’ll just have to settle for strategically timed coffee breaks and the occasional “urgent per fish matter ”